February 2011
3 posts
1 tag
January 2011
12 posts
Watch“point your hand over there”
so fucking good
shit man
Robert Montgomery diggin’ it
Kitty just let me cuddle with her, such an epic moment. She has always backed away at the sight of someone coming towards her. Once, after never looking me in the eye for longer than a second or two, we made direct eye contact for 30 seconds and I was convinced she was possessed.
so scary
between the drags off our cigarettes
Mom: You're so guarded.
Me: What do you mean "guarded"?
Mom: I don't know... vulnerable.
Me: Those are complete opposites.
Mom: I know. I'm trying to figure out which one it is.
December 2010
9 posts
Seventy Times 7
“I hope there’s ice on all the roads and you can think of me when you forget your seat belt and again when your head goes through the windshield” on repeat in my head as I stare at the silver ceiling laid strapped on the hard neon orange plastic safely bolted to the floor of the ambulance carrying me to South Shore Hospital. My head hits the windshield. I polietly thank the...
HAHAHA what the fuck is all this pretentious bullshit I’ve presented? I guess that will happen after four days running on a combined five hours of sleep. Isolation during such a period did not prove to be helpful either. it’s just so funny! I wish someone would have just told me to shut the fuck up.
ambiguous alliterations
This search for significance has become increasingly insignificant. Eyes feel permanently glazed over in the absence of affinity. OH what I would give for these baby blues to flicker with a fire so bright it burns all apathy to ashes. But lately lights and sounds are reduced to fragments and nothing exists in its entirety. Waiting for a wholeness to wake me, to introduce intoxicating ideas of...
HA!
“fuck what you heard
you were lied to”
November 2010
12 posts
“that which doesn’t kill you only makes you wish you’d died instead”
at least I won my docs off e-bay they’re gonna be kickass
what just happened?
I was hunched over the wheel on the verge of snapping it right at every telephone pole this, previous to sitting in my car in the near empty parking lot 20 minutes past 7, my screams and defeat seeping through the vents recirculating through the speakers so I can hear them full volume this, previous to a complete loss of self, manifested by my crouching in the black through...
October 2010
3 posts
“I will make your grave, for you are vile.”
– Nahum 1:14
2. Anything inducing a pleasurable sensation of...
I don’t know where to start. SO I won’t.
I can’t. I don’t understand why I can’t. I’ve let my fingertips flow over the keys time and time again, only to land once again on the backspace button. Erasing everything! All my thoughts and words. They aren’t right. They flow so elegantly within my brain while I lay silent in bed, begging for my mind to slow...
September 2010
1 post
everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold
August 2010
6 posts
I wish my brain would work. I wish my body would work. I wish they would work in symmetry and make things right. I wish I could have stayed in that moment, with the warmth and smells and comfort. Things could be so different right now. Still, I am here, right now, and it is how it is. I am the only person with the power to change it. I’m just too powerless.
July 2010
12 posts
I can no longer breathe. I rely on the comfort of nicotine smoke for inhalation and exhalation. puff, blow out, ash, repeat. down, down, down to the white or yellow, whichever is currently being crushed between my middle and index finger. I thought emptiness brought lightness, a weightlessness filled with bliss. Instead I am stone heavy. Every movement of every limb takes the greatest of efforts...
I don’t go on the computer enough to keep up with that list. Besides, the one I’m supposed to do today is a picture of me and my friends and I don’t really know what I’d put up. I only really hang out with my sister and Evan and Alex. I honestly used to not be able to take Alex for too long, but the length of time it takes him to get words out has greatly decreased, and he...
